I Trust

Just getting ready to call it a night. I have just returned to the hotel room after my MRI today. I am reflecting on words I have recently read in Beth Moore's book So Long Insecurity. She challenged readers to trust God. Not the "I trust you God to heal me", or "I trust you God to do what I think is best in this situation.", but simply "I trust YOU, God. Period. I trust you."

And so, tonight, as I rest my tired head on my hotel pillow, I will say those words. "I trust you, God. Regardless of the results, regardless of the way I feel, I will trust you." It's a bit harder than it seems. Saying it and meaning it versus feeling it are two very different things. See, I'd rather pray, "God, I trust you for the complete and total healing that You are already performing in my body," and I do. But do I trust Him whatever may come?

I'd like to say yes. That is the work He is perfecting in me through this round of cancer. An unwavering trust that He is taking the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, the trash, and the treasure that comes my way and He is weaving it all together for my good to complete the purpose he has for my life.

David Jeremiah explained in one of his teachings that we aren't meant to understand everything that comes our way in life. We are not guaranteed a clear view of the "whole picture" while we linger here on earth. Sometimes we don't FEEL like God has our best interest at heart, and that He has somehow caused or allowed hard times to come our way. Dr. Jeremiah reminded us, though, that "we KNOW God works ALL things together for our good to those who are called according to His purpose." That is a solid promise. He then encouraged us to quit relying on our feelings. His statement, which I've quoted on Facebook already is this: "Until you feel what you should feel, know what you know."

And what do I know? That God is working, right now, everything together for my good. So whether I feel like He has my health under control is irrelevant. I can sleep-peacefully-because I know he is weaving all of this "stuff" in my life together into something beautiful that will bring glory to Him.  I can face tomorrow, and all the days after that, saying "God, I trust you. Period."

One of my favorite songs right now is  "Let the Waters Rise" by a group called "Mikeschair". I have no idea why they chose such a name, but that is neither here nor there. As with many issues I encounter, no one asked my opinion! Here are the words, as best as I can remember them:

Don't know where to begin

'feel like my world's caving in

And I try but I can't control my fears.

Lord, where do I go from here?

Sometimes it's so hard to pray

When You feel so far away

But I am willing to go where You want me to.
God I trust you.

There's a raging sea right in front of me

Wants to pull me in,

Drag me to my knees,

So let the waters rise, if You want them to,

I will follow you.

Lord, I'll swim in the deep

'cause You'll be next to me.

You're in the eye of the storm and the calm of the sea.

You're never out of reach.

God, You know where I've been

You were there with me then

You were faithful before,

You'll be faithful again,

I'm holding Your hand.

There's a raging sea right in front of me

Wants to pull me in,

Drag me to my knees,

So let the waters rise, if You want them to,

I will follow you.

I hope you have a wonderful week.  Thank you for your continued prayers.  They are heard.

Blessings to you and yours,

Leslie