The Next Paragraph

Who knew when I typed my last post how fitting that excerpt from "So Long Insecurity", by Beth Moore would be.  I thought I'd share a bit of the next paragraph in the book with you.  It's almost as if it was written with my situation in mind.  I've always said I liked that lady!  It's because we think alike!

"...You knew what You were doing when You formed me in my mother's womb. Nothng is without purpose. Nothing has thrown off the plan.  Every gift, challenge, and obstacle is meant to shape the specific destiny You ordained for me before time began.  Your intent is to make a wonder out of me and show what You can do through me.  You mean to increase the praise that comes to You because of my life.  You want to defy the odds in order to make Yourself conspicuous in me. Please deliver me from self-pity and a life of excuses and rationalizations...Of all things, please don't let it be said that I loved myself too much to fully love anybody else.  Please don't let me gain the world but lose my soul."

How's that?  Completely fits my situation, don't you think?
In closing, please pray for our appointments tomorrow.  For clarity, direction, and peace.  And pray that I don't throw up!  It's my go-to "fight or flight" response, and I just hate it!

Also, pray for Jeff.  He is just such a rock!  He is serious but always able to make me laugh.  He is confident and compassionate.  He's handling all the correspondence, since I've lost my voice.  He never makes me feel like the patient...but always takes such care of me.  As always, he is the perfect gentleman.  I have yet to open a car door for myself in nearly 18 years of marriage, and even before that when we were dating.  It's the first thing I loved about him.  Well, that and his Wrangler's and boots!  Pray that he is able to rest. He slept a lot last night, and he was nearly too rested to tolerate today.  He calls it comedic genius, but I could think of a few other terms for it!  And me without a voice to redirect!  He loved every minute of our 7 hour "comedic genius" trip today! 

And, please keep our family in your prayers.  The boys know that I've come down to see what my doctor's here want me to do for my headaches.  I told them my scan of Friday showed something was putting pressure on my head/neck, and we needed to do something about it.  They were fine with that definition of our current situation. 

Then I apologized for telling them they were making my head hurt last week in the car.  They were fussing and whining, and it was tiresome.  (At one point, I told the two oldest if they didn't apologize in the car, I would make them hug and kiss in the crosswalk in front of the school.  I meant it, too!) I told them I was so sorry for blaming them, because it turns out it wasn't their fault all.  Wouldn't it be awful if they thought they had caused any of this?! 

Anyway, they were very forgiving, "Okay, Mom.  It's alright." "Yah.  It's alright." Then 3 big smiles.  It was a very low key discussion held on the steps of the backyard playset.  Then, I told them because of my headaches, I couldn't do the garden this year, and I was giving both garden spots to them.  Seemed fair, since they cleaned them off.  They were so pumped!  One sunflower fort in the planning stages, and one vegetable/flower garden.  Should provide hours of activity, and lots of fun for their summer.

Pray for my parents, and my siblings who have all helped out, and are still helping with the boys. 

This is a draining experience, even though it's not our first rodeo.  I am both dreading and looking forward to tomorrow.  It is so nice to be with the doctor's who know me best. There is comfort in familiarity.  There is comfort in trust. 

Blessings to you and yours. 


Jeff and Leslie

"Bluebonnets in Corsicana" by Leslie Davis 4/11/10