Wednesday's Update

Just getting ready to head over to my surgeon's office and see if I can have these stitches taken out of my head.  That would be sooooo nice.  Tomorrow I have my 2nd treatment, and then, I hope, we are free to leave and head home!  We are ready to be back in Missouri, although Jeff reminds me daily, we will miss the Final Four if we head back before Friday.  Oh well, such is life.

My first treatment went very well.  It's not an IV, but rather the doctor stands over you and v...e...r...y...slowly injects medicine into my head. It was a little creepy to have someone standing over me for 5 minutes squirting something into my head.  I just shut my eyes.  Even though I was laying down, I still felt a little faint.  It's because I was thinking about it.  Maybe next time I'll take my iPod and put in my earphones so I can think about something else.

 For those inquisitive minds out there, they always draw off as much spinal fluid as the medicine they are putting in so the pressure inside my skull remains the same.  Glad someone was thinking about that! 

Better make hay while the sun shines.  Have a wonderful day.  Thanks for your continued prayers.

Blessings,
Leslie

Abrupt ending

The post below has a very generic ending, and you need to know why. The medical transport folks showed up to roll me doen to nuclear medicine, and I couldnt get my iPad to save it as a draft, so I tied it up with a very sloppy bow before sliding over to another rolling bed and scooted down the hallways of the hospital. And now, I can't get back to it to correct it.

Oh well. Now you know.

In the Still of the Night

Since my diagnosis in September of 2007, I dread nighttime. Not so much when all is well, but especially when I have a new diagnosis or a new treatment. When night falls, and everyone else is snug in their beds, you will often find me puttering around the house or watching TV. I just stay up until I am drop dead tired, jittery with fatigue, because i know I can go to sleep quickly.

When I stayed in Houston with my cousin, Jenny, some of our best visits were after 10pm. I probably drove her nuts, but she didn't complain. She'd fix me a cup of hot tea, and we'd discuss medical issues (she's a doctor), scripture, kiddos. It was one of my favorite times.

Now, though, it is habit to stay up way too late. I mean, I shut down the neighborhood. Not a creature stirring when my light goes out.

Quiet night time promotes vast amounts of activity in my brain. Worry and fear decide to have a footrace through my thoughts. Pictures of the day's events roll through my mind like index cards in a Rolodex.

So,when this began last night, in the quiet of my hospital room (Jeff went to our room to sleep) I decided to fight the rolodex and the footrace. I pulled out my handy dandy iPad, (thank you D & M, and J & J) on the songs I had downloaded, and let the Martin's, Phillips, Craig, and Dean, Laura Story, Third Day, Steven Curtis Chapman, the Sidewalk Prophets, Chris Rice, and the Gaither Vocal Band sing my tired self to sleep. Worry and fear stopped their racing. Pictures of the day slowly stopped rolling. Scripture in song filled the room. And when I shut off the music I felt like
I wasn't alone. And I rested.

Hope you are having a great week. Looks like there's pretty weather at home.

Blessings,

Leslie

Good morning!

Well, nothing says good morning quite likke a needle in the bend of your arm! Hello! I was in the lab at 6 a.m. this morning. Bloodwork done, and off to have my brain scanned at 7. Good news! I have one (a brain). Then Jeff and I grabbed some breakfast, and we are now back at the room. Going to rest for a bit before my next appointment at noon.
In case you are just catching up, when I was here last week for my regular check up, they found even more, new cancer. This time on the surface of the brain. The most effective treatment is to deliver chemotherapy directly to the brain through what is known as an Ommaya Reservoir. Google that phrase if you'd like to know more.

So that is why Jeff and I are back down here this week...to have that placed, and for the physicians here to make sure it's working right before we head home. My local hospital can administer the infusions for me. Surgery tomorrow, then stay for about a week to make sure things are going well, then homeward bound.

Thanks for your prayers and all the ways you are helping our family. We are truly blessed.

I'll write more when I know something new. Have a fantastic week.

Love,

Leslie

My apologies for the typos. Using my iPad, and cannot go back and correct for some reason.

Blessings

Jesus Cares for Me

"Jesus cares for me. 
Seems too good to be.
All my worries and doubts released,
Jesus cares for me."

I am thoroughly enjoying our new CD of all the hymns I grew up singing. (Bart Millard of MercyMe---Hymned (1st cd) and Hymned again (2nd cd)).

Hope you are enjoying this warmer weather. Here's a short clip of Bart and Vince Gill recording this song.



Have a great week!

Blessings,
Leslie

One of my All Time Favorites

The latest Update

I've been home from TX since the evening of the 12th, and am just getting around to posting about my visit.  We've been so busy with life, that typing a paragraph on the computer seemed to get lower and lower on my list of things to do.

As of January 10, 2011, everything remains stable or continues to shrink.  I met with the neurosurgeon who does the gamma knife surgeries on the brain, and he said that I "100% do not need gamma knife surgery at this point."  But, he said, if I ever do need it, now he knows me and if my oncologist calls, he'll work me right in.  He also said that because of the results of the MRI, they can tell that my chemotherapy (11 pills/day) is "100% doing what it's supposed to".  So much easier to swallow 11 pills when you know it's working!

And...drum roll please...I have gained another 8 pounds since December.  Almost back to my starting weight.  10 lbs to go.

I had a wonderful trip down and back with my cousin Jeannie and my momma (Bootsie).  On our return trip, we stayed overnight with another cousin, Cari, and got to hug her neck and love on her sweet, sweet children.  It was a very enjoyable pit stop, and  a very entertaining trip.

So...that's that.  My oncologist also suggested that since nothing is growing, that monthly MRI's are no longer necessary, and that I can stay put until March when I'll return for a rescan.  Ever been to Houston, TX in March?  It's BEAUTIFUL!  Everything is green and flowers are blooming.  It's warm enough to sit outside and soak up the sun.  Lovely, lovely.  So, that will be a fantastic time for another visit.

This week, however, I am home, taking care of my 2nd child to come down with strep this month.  So glad to be here. Preparing for a freeze-out, where I'll air out the house, and then disinfect everything.

Thank you all for your continued prayers.  We consider ourselves abundantly blessed to have friends and family who care for us so much.

Have a great week!  Blessings to you all,

Leslie

My New Favorite Christmas Song

This is the song that was playing in my mind while I was having my MRI at the first of the month.  Love, love, love it.  Hope you enjoy it, too.

Backtracking

Here are some photos of what we've been up to these past two months:

In November, my sweet baboo, Levi, turned 8.  He is so much fun, and so inquisitive.  He is very cautious about believing anything, and isn't easily led astray.  He always wants to know the "why" to every answer, and although that's so bothersome and often untimely, I remember a little girl who was a lot like that.  She turned out pretty good, so I think he's going to be alright!  Sometimes he wears me out with all the questions, but he is a sweet boy.  He loves to play with his brothers, and his best friend, Scott.  For his birthday, he had Scott sleep over.  They "camped" in the living room, and then we went out for doughnuts the next morning.  Afterwards, we went to Firehouse Pottery and painted puppy dogs.  What fun! 

Then, later on in November, Owen killed his 2nd deer, this one bigger than last years.  It is a beautiful 8 point, and we are so proud of him.  I am enjoying this 11th year with him.  He's still a little boy, but he's got all the makings of a fine young man.  He's an impressive kid!  Both he and Levi are getting ready to start rec league basketball.  They love playing, and I'm glad since that is my most favorite sport! 

Isaac is busy enjoying all the holiday preparations.  His big interest is cutting out paper snowflakes.  He's a whiz at it, and I hope my house will be covered with his creations soon.  He is quite the creative engineer, as well.  Check out his newest train track he constructed.  He makes these all the time all by himself.  What a sharp little mind.  He is a huge problem solver, and is quite encouraging to anyone trying to figure something out for themselves.  His newest love is the game "Traffic Jam" where you have to rearrange a parking lot to get one car out.  Very challenging, and he loves it (so do his brothers).

Hope you are enjoying your holiday festivities, as well as the preparations.  I am loving it!

Blessings to you and yours!

Leslie



Good Tidings of Great Joy

Great report today. The spot of something new that showed up last month remains unchanged. This is a good sign and most likely means that it is scar tissue and not new cancer growth. Yeah! No gamma knife surgery for now. My doctor said he'll see me next month for another rescan. Yeah! And, weight gain is going well. I've put on 6 pounds in a month. 19 to go to get back to my fighting weight.

Thanks so much for all your prayers. God heard and answered. God is good. And so is life!

Blessings and Merry Christmas!

Leslie

Keeping you Current

On our way to MDAnderson. Follow-up MRI Monday at 1:30. See the doctor at 4:30. Results will determine if I need gamma knife surgery. Traveling with Jeff, and that is always fun. Seriously! He's my favorite...no offense to my other traveling companions! Hoping for great results and a quick return trip home. I'd much rather be "Christmas-ing" it up at home. So ready for baking, wrapping, and reading Christmas stories to the kids.

Our current favorite..."the Yuletide Ice Cube Fair", a Veggie Tales story of the real meaning of Christmas. Perfect for preschoolers and elementary age. My boys love the rhyming.


Thank you all for your continued prayers. I will try to keep you updated as soon as I know more.

Love and Blessings,

Leslie

The Decision

Well, the verdict of my oncologist, as of 11:00 last night, is that we will wait a month, and rescan to see if this is growing or if it is scar tissue.  Don't know yet if I'll have the lumbar thing-a-ma-jig (rather not say that other painful word!) this month or when I go back for the rescan.  Let's just not think about that today.  How's that sound? Sounds good to me!

Jeff and Owen are out in the woods trying to bring down the big buck.  I don't think you could pay me enough to go sit in the shady woods in these temps.  Not now anyway.  I don't have any insulation, and I'd freeze to death! Going to make a run to town in a bit.  Thank heavens for my seat warmers in my van.  1st time I've ever had those.  What a GREAT invention! 

Have a wonderful weekend!  Enjoy life!  Every day is a blessing.

Love,
Leslie

Still Waiting

The Doctors agreed that it seems reasonable to wait a month and see if what was spotted on the MRI stays the same size or grows.  I'm a bit concerned with that tactic.  What if it mushrooms?!  They still haven't decided completely.  A large group of them agreed that I should have the gamma knife surgery and a lovely little procedure called a "lumbar puncture" to check for cancer cells in my spinal fluid.  Lord have mercy!  All I want to be thinking about is pumpkin pies, and turkey and dressing.  Must I really have to hear the words "lumbar puncture"?  Great day in the mornin'! 

I'm all for a "lumbar puncture" (when it means an epidural) when I'm delivering a baby, but this sounds painful.  *Deep Breath* I'll try not to worry about it until the time is here.  Then I'm going to try to convince Ted Lennard to go down there and do the procedure.  Hahahaha!  Just kidding...but he is the doctor to have if a needle is to be stuck into your spine!  Speaking from experience! (Ted is our good friend of many years, and an elder in our church, as well as an excellent physician.)

So, to set my mind on other things, I have posted one of my all time favorite songs and my all time favorite comedian.  Hope you enjoy!

Thanks for the continued prayers. They are felt.


Blessings,

Leslie

Need to be Reassured?

Need a Good Laugh?

What's One More Day?

My Dr. emailed me this evening to say he was mistaken, and that the neurosurgeons convene tomorrow to review my scans.  He will email me when he hears their decision on where to go from here.

Patience.  I need an infusion!

Thanks for praying!

Leslie

The Results are in...

...and they are inconclusive.  My MRI yesterday came back showing a new lesion on my brain.  HOWEVER, the original lesions continue to decrease in size, and my blood work shows the cancer antigens continue to decline. They are still way in the normal range. 

Dr. Booser said he finds it hard to believe that a new lesion would grow if the others were shrinking, and he is wondering if it is simply an MRI glitch.  SO...tomorrow a panel of neurosurgeons will review my scan, and give their opinions as to whether or not it's new cancer.  If so, we'll be back discussing the stereo tactic (gamma knife) surgery.

Suddenly, I feel very weary!  We are on our way home, and will have to email the good Doctor tomorrow en route to find out the decision of the neurosurgeons. 

I would appreciate your prayers for myself, Drs. Rhines, Chang, and Booser as well as the rest of the panel for wisdom to make the right decision. 

Pray, also, that I gain some weight back.  One of the many side effects of the medication I'm taking is that is causes a "loss of appetite". Translation...I have lost a bunch of weight, and need to pack it on before I freeze!

I love you all.  Thanks for the kind comments...even if they are backhanded like my brother Jim's!  Love you Jim!

Rest well,

Leslie

I Trust

Just getting ready to call it a night. I have just returned to the hotel room after my MRI today. I am reflecting on words I have recently read in Beth Moore's book So Long Insecurity. She challenged readers to trust God. Not the "I trust you God to heal me", or "I trust you God to do what I think is best in this situation.", but simply "I trust YOU, God. Period. I trust you."

And so, tonight, as I rest my tired head on my hotel pillow, I will say those words. "I trust you, God. Regardless of the results, regardless of the way I feel, I will trust you." It's a bit harder than it seems. Saying it and meaning it versus feeling it are two very different things. See, I'd rather pray, "God, I trust you for the complete and total healing that You are already performing in my body," and I do. But do I trust Him whatever may come?

I'd like to say yes. That is the work He is perfecting in me through this round of cancer. An unwavering trust that He is taking the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, the trash, and the treasure that comes my way and He is weaving it all together for my good to complete the purpose he has for my life.

David Jeremiah explained in one of his teachings that we aren't meant to understand everything that comes our way in life. We are not guaranteed a clear view of the "whole picture" while we linger here on earth. Sometimes we don't FEEL like God has our best interest at heart, and that He has somehow caused or allowed hard times to come our way. Dr. Jeremiah reminded us, though, that "we KNOW God works ALL things together for our good to those who are called according to His purpose." That is a solid promise. He then encouraged us to quit relying on our feelings. His statement, which I've quoted on Facebook already is this: "Until you feel what you should feel, know what you know."

And what do I know? That God is working, right now, everything together for my good. So whether I feel like He has my health under control is irrelevant. I can sleep-peacefully-because I know he is weaving all of this "stuff" in my life together into something beautiful that will bring glory to Him.  I can face tomorrow, and all the days after that, saying "God, I trust you. Period."

One of my favorite songs right now is  "Let the Waters Rise" by a group called "Mikeschair". I have no idea why they chose such a name, but that is neither here nor there. As with many issues I encounter, no one asked my opinion! Here are the words, as best as I can remember them:

Don't know where to begin

'feel like my world's caving in

And I try but I can't control my fears.

Lord, where do I go from here?

Sometimes it's so hard to pray

When You feel so far away

But I am willing to go where You want me to.
God I trust you.

There's a raging sea right in front of me

Wants to pull me in,

Drag me to my knees,

So let the waters rise, if You want them to,

I will follow you.

Lord, I'll swim in the deep

'cause You'll be next to me.

You're in the eye of the storm and the calm of the sea.

You're never out of reach.

God, You know where I've been

You were there with me then

You were faithful before,

You'll be faithful again,

I'm holding Your hand.

There's a raging sea right in front of me

Wants to pull me in,

Drag me to my knees,

So let the waters rise, if You want them to,

I will follow you.

I hope you have a wonderful week.  Thank you for your continued prayers.  They are heard.

Blessings to you and yours,

Leslie

Plan B

My MRI and Dr. appointment have been rescheduled for the 9th and 10th in Houston.  So...after a weekend of burning up I-44, I'll head south and burn up I-45!  Good thing I like to travel!

Thank you for your continued prayers.  Really hoping for some good scans.

Enjoy your weekend!

Blessings,
Leslie