In the Still of the Night

Since my diagnosis in September of 2007, I dread nighttime. Not so much when all is well, but especially when I have a new diagnosis or a new treatment. When night falls, and everyone else is snug in their beds, you will often find me puttering around the house or watching TV. I just stay up until I am drop dead tired, jittery with fatigue, because i know I can go to sleep quickly.

When I stayed in Houston with my cousin, Jenny, some of our best visits were after 10pm. I probably drove her nuts, but she didn't complain. She'd fix me a cup of hot tea, and we'd discuss medical issues (she's a doctor), scripture, kiddos. It was one of my favorite times.

Now, though, it is habit to stay up way too late. I mean, I shut down the neighborhood. Not a creature stirring when my light goes out.

Quiet night time promotes vast amounts of activity in my brain. Worry and fear decide to have a footrace through my thoughts. Pictures of the day's events roll through my mind like index cards in a Rolodex.

So,when this began last night, in the quiet of my hospital room (Jeff went to our room to sleep) I decided to fight the rolodex and the footrace. I pulled out my handy dandy iPad, (thank you D & M, and J & J) on the songs I had downloaded, and let the Martin's, Phillips, Craig, and Dean, Laura Story, Third Day, Steven Curtis Chapman, the Sidewalk Prophets, Chris Rice, and the Gaither Vocal Band sing my tired self to sleep. Worry and fear stopped their racing. Pictures of the day slowly stopped rolling. Scripture in song filled the room. And when I shut off the music I felt like
I wasn't alone. And I rested.

Hope you are having a great week. Looks like there's pretty weather at home.

Blessings,

Leslie