Hello again. I apologize for taking so long to update my blog, but we have had a very busy past few weeks. Since I've spoken to you last, I've met with my radiologist as well as my anesthesiologist and I feel much better about my upcoming surgery and radiation. I cannot begin to tell you how fantastic the physicians are at MD Anderson. If you have reason to search for a cancer hospital, this is the place to be. All the physicians and support staff that I have spoken to concerning my upcoming procedures have answered all my questions (the obvious as well as the ridiculous), and have assured me that what I've already gone through (chemotherapy) is much worse that the treatments that lay before me. Armed with that logic, I am ready, ready, ready to get this show on the road!
These past few weeks, Jeff and I have been ironing out transportation, employment, childcare, and daily living issues. We were re-informed (although I'd forgotten the first "informed") that my radiation will require me to be present DAILY for 6 weeks. I don't know what I was expecting...maybe just a little microwaving on a weekly basis, but I absolutely was not thinking of staying for 6 weeks of treatment in Houston. But...guess what...I will be!
So, with surgery planned for this Tuesday, followed by 10 days of R&R before my follow up checkup, then a little boy's birthday, then our 16th wedding anniversary, then back to Houston for a 6 week radiation session...you could say that we've been a bit overwhelmed. Not in a bad way...there's just so much to do, and I don't feel like I was "ready" for everything. I got so caught up in the traveling back and forth for chemo, that I rather forgot about the planning this next phase would require.
That said, everything has been worked out, and we are good to go. Now...if I could just get packed! :o)
As I was cleaning up the kitchen last night, I found myself in a very similar situation as most mommas following dinner...head buried in the Tupperware cabinet looking for the right lid for the container I'd chosen to hold the remaining green beans. Rattle! Clunk! Bang! (Hey-how'd a metal lid get into the Tupperware cabinet?) This one? No...maybe this? No. Dad-gum-it! Here it is...wrong again! Urgh! Then...and I'm always looking for a sermon in everyday life...it came to me. If the lid doesn't fit...try changing containers! Aha! But that's not what I wanted...I wanted this one! Umhmm...Didn't know God could speak to me through the Tupperware cabinet, but last night, with Ziploc, Glad Lock, Hefty, and Tupperware all looking on, God had a message for me.
As I poured the green beans from container one into container two, I realized...this whole cancer thing is not at all what I had planned. This isn't the "lid" I had wanted to use. But...instead of sitting down and pouting about how unfair this is, or how tiring it is, or how goofy I look (still like a baby bird!), God suggested that maybe I just get a different "container". Well, now, that's do-able. Just change my expectations a tad, and...there you go! It still works. The "green beans" still fit...and it doesn't really matter that it wasn't my original plan...it still works.
I still go to Wal-Mart. I still go with the family to baseball practice. I still laugh with my husband over funny things that happened to us during the day. This week, I took Levi in for Kindergarten screening, with just as much energy as any other mom in the building. I will go to Sunday School and church in the morning...now that my counts are up again. I can still rock a little boy when he wakes up in the middle of the night. I still help catch tadpoles in the pond nearby (more instructionally rather than by example...my counts aren't THAT high! Hee hee!). I can still bake a mean batch of Cheesecake Brownies. Life is good!
Is this the "container" I chose originally? Well, definitely not! But I have been, and continue to be, blessed beyond my wildest imagination through this whole ordeal. You wouldn't believe the amazing patients and their families I've been able to visit with on a weekly basis, who started out as complete strangers, but who are now inviting me to come to their home! Neat, neat people that I never would have met on this earth, but whose phone numbers I now carry with me.
We just never know what changes might come to scramble our "perfect" plans. However, I still believe that if I continue to trust in God...who only wants the very best for me, who loves me more that I love my own children (think on that for awhile), who promises, "...I know the plans I have for you; plans for good...to give you hope and a future," then...I'm going to be fine!
If the lid doesn't fit, try changing your container!
I'll leave you with this funny story that happened to me last week!
As the radiology and anesthesiology departments were interviewing me concerning my upcoming surgery and treatments, they asked about my medical history.
"Do you smoke?"
"No."
"Consume alcoholic beverages?"
"No."
"Use recreational drugs?"
"No."
"Can you walk two flights of stairs?"
"Yes."
"Any pain?"
"No."
"Any hepatitis, anemia, TMJ, blah blah blah?"
"No."
"Family history of cancer?"
"No."
"Miscarriages?"
"No."
"High blood pressure?"
"No."
"So, then, Mrs. Davis...you seem to be very healthy."
"Yes...I just have a touch of cancer!"
Ha ha ha! I'm such a nut! You should've seen her face! WELL...it's the truth! I feel fine...I've just got a bit of cancer.
I will try to update you from Houston. It may be awhile...but hopefully not too long. Thank you for all your support. We all appreciate everything you are doing for us!
Much love,
Leslie, Jeff, and the boys
