I'm Tired of This!

My PET scan results showed cancer cells in my spine and in the lymph nodes under my right arm. Yah...lovely! Anyway, the PET scan isn't conclusive, evidently, so tomorrow I go in for an MRI. I am tired of all this lurching..."this is the diagnosis...now this is the diagnosis...let's do this and wait for another diagnosis..."

My white cell count is still down, too, so that means more shots. If it doesn't come up by Friday, I won't be able to get my next chemo treatment. The nurse assured me that the low count is a good thing...it means that the chemo is working. It's just getting old (or I'm just getting impatient!).

We are planning on taking this show on the road! We're heading to TX to MD Anderson as soon as we can get our ducks in a row. We have a place to stay (family) and my cousin who is a head/neck surgeon with connections to MD Anderson can get me in quickly. They already have every test result that I've had done here...they just need me. And I'm ready to be a priority to someone! My cousin is coordinating everything, and I trust that when I get down there they'll get right to work.

We are all weary and concerned and overwhelmed and quite resolved about what we want to do. I'm tired of waiting on my oncologist to return from vacation...which is probably the whole crux of the matter. I'm just being bounced around from one on-call doctor to the next, and no one really has a vested interest in me at this point. The staff is encouraging me to wait until he returns, which won't be until the 24th...I just don't feel like I have the luxury of waiting...I'm ready to have someone say, "This is what you have. This is where it is. And this is what we're going to do to kick it!" Now, that would make me feel better!

Love you all...and thanks for tolerating my ranting!

Leslie